Relationship Milestones Are Shifting. Why Should This Matter for Private Client Advisers?
For private client advisers, property is increasingly the moment when a relationship becomes financially real.
Across affluent and emerging-HNW client profiles, buying a home is now the primary act of commitment, often preceding marriage, children, or formal long-term planning. This shift is well evidenced by demographic and housing data, and it materially affects when advisers are engaged and what risks clients are exposed to.
Property has become the foundation upon which modern lives are built, rather than an asset acquired after traditional milestones.
What the Data Shows
UK housing research from Zoopla (2025) found that:
- 48 percent of adults in a relationship prioritise saving for a home over saving for a wedding
- Among under-30s, this rises to 59 percent
- Only 8 percent cite wedding savings as their primary financial goal
- 20 percent say they would delay marriage to buy a property
Source: Zoopla, No Rings Attached: Homeownership Outranks Marriage, 2025
By the time many private clients purchase their first shared home, they often already have:
- Established careers and complex income structures
- Investable assets or business interests
- Family capital entering the transaction
- Clear lifestyle and geographic intent
As US sociologist Dr Richard Reeves has observed in his work on modern adulthood:
“Homeownership has shifted from being a step on the way to adulthood to the platform on which adulthood is built.”
Source: Richard V. Reeves, Of Boys and Men, Brookings Institution, 2022
From Marriage First to Foundations First
Sociologists increasingly describe today’s model of commitment as “capstone marriage”, where marriage comes after financial and lifestyle stability has already been achieved.
Professor Andrew Cherlin, Johns Hopkins University, describes this shift as follows:
“Marriage is no longer the foundation of adult life. It is now a marker that signals a couple has already made it.”
Source: Andrew J. Cherlin, The Marriage-Go-Round, updated analysis, Johns Hopkins University
For private clients, that stability is often expressed through property ownership.
Buying a home together now functions as:
- A declaration of long-term intent
- A shared financial commitment
- A decision anchoring lifestyle and jurisdiction
- A trigger for involving professional advice
UK relationship researcher Dr Meg-John Barker summarises this shift succinctly:
“Couples are increasingly formalising their futures financially before they formalise them legally.”
Source: Meg-John Barker, relationship and family studies commentary, Open University
Why This Matters to Private Client Advisers
For advisers, the implications are practical.
When property comes before marriage, advisers increasingly see clients who are:
- Jointly borrowing without marital protections
- Making unequal capital contributions
- Receiving family support without formal structures
- Aligning assets before aligning legal status
According to the Office for National Statistics, cohabiting couple households are now the fastest-growing family type in the UK, more than doubling since the mid-1990s.
As family law academic Professor Rebecca Probert notes:
“The law still assumes marriage as the organising structure, but people’s lives have moved on. Advisers are increasingly dealing with the consequences of that gap.”
Source: Rebecca Probert, Family Law and Modern Relationships, University of Exeter
Intergenerational Wealth Appears Earlier
Property is also where intergenerational wealth first becomes visible.
The Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) has shown that family assistance now plays a growing role in property acquisition and wealth distribution, particularly among higher-income households.
Their research notes:
“Parental support for housing is increasingly shaping who buys property, when they buy, and how wealth is transferred across generations.”
Source: Institute for Fiscal Studies, Intergenerational Wealth and Housing, 2023
Crucially, studies also show that:
- Many family contributions are undocumented
- Intentions around gifts versus loans are unclear
- Tax and estate implications are rarely addressed upfront
For private client advisers, this means property acquisition is often the first real expression of succession planning, even if it is not labelled as such at the time.
Property as an Expression of Values
For private clients, buying a home together reflects more than economics. It expresses values.
Housing think tank Demos UK describes modern homeownership as:
“The emotional and practical centre of long-term planning for couples, particularly those delaying traditional milestones.”
Source: Demos UK, Housing and Life Transitions, 2022
It answers questions such as:
- Where do we build our life
- How do we deploy family support
- What does commitment look like in practice
A Valentine’s Day Reflection for Advisers
This Valentine’s Day, the most meaningful commitments are not always marked by ceremonies. Increasingly, they are marked by ownership structures, long-term plans, and shared homes.
For private client advisers, recognising property as the foundation of life allows earlier, deeper, and more impactful engagement.
Those who understand this shift are better placed to:
- Engage clients at the point of real commitment
- Integrate family, tax, legal, and financial planning
- Shape outcomes rather than react to them
- Build durable adviser relationships
Property may no longer follow life. For many private clients, it now leads the way.